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"Perfection & Acceptance", by Susana Laborde-Blaj

Updated: Jan 8, 2022

“Good girl!” said my dentist, looking at my teeth. I couldn’t help smiling and feeling super proud. She said how well I was doing my flossing, and how it showed how consistently I do it, and then, very politely, she added that if I could do a bit less intense cleaning, it would be much better for my gums.


I almost laughed when I heard that, as I recognized one of my patterns, which has been to go a bit (a bit, really?) past what is good for me, in an attempt to become some kind of perfect, accepted, loved…”good girl”. So funny that she used that expression.


Going back to my Self. Who am I? Why am I here? Which things, experiences, relationships will give me joy, real, unconditional joy and happiness? What is the purpose of my existence?


I take a conscious breath. As I take it, I feel emotion hiking and the eyes watering into tears. I feel a compression in my chest, a knot in my throat.


Another conscious breath. I soften into presence and remember Hafiz’s words:


“Awake my dear

Be kind to your sleeping heart

Take it out into the vast fields of light

And let it breathe.”


That is what I wish for me, and I realize that what I deeply wish for me, I wish for you who are reading this, for us, for everybody, everywhere.


May you find refuge in your deepest presence

May you know that it is okay to be who you are

May you know and feel that you deserve love, to exist, to be, to breath

May you find a way to make some sense of this life and do some good in an authentic and fulfilling way

May you find your way home


May I find refuge in my deepest presence

May I know that it is okay to be who I am

May I know and feel that I deserve love, to exist, to be, to breath

May I find a way to make some sense of this life and do some good in an authentic and fulfilling way

May I find my way home


May we find refuge in our deepest presence

May we know that it is okay to be who we are

May we know and feel that we deserve love, to exist, to be, to breath

May we find a way to make some sense of this life and do some good in an authentic and fulfilling way

May we find our way home


I thank my dentist and every reminder that I see and hear.

The reminders are everywhere. Just open your eyes, and listen. We are in this together.





Our dear friends. Pescadero Marsh, California on the last day of 2021


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